The Builder - Part 6

and so it continues.........

So I have spent the best part of the last two days in bed (alone) with tonsillitis.  I have to admit, I have felt a little bit sorry for myself but have also been pleased to be able to stay in bed.

Yesterday, from my bed, I heard the builders arrive - noisy van on the drive, unloading of noisy things - just noisy really.

and although I was half expecting it, I still jumped when there was that overly familiar knock (its just so loud) on the front door.  Well, I am sorry but there was no way this lady was hopping out of bed, so I elected to ignore and went back to sleep (mentally checking with myself that I had actually locked all the doors......)

Hauled my ass out of bed at 4pm yesterday, slightly nervous but no more knocking on the door, dragged myself back into bed at 10pm - yes I was up for a whole 6 hours!!

So this morning, also, not getting up, felt like I had been run over (still do) but at least I am not being sick.  No van up the drive this morning, no unloading of noisy stuff, no overly familiar knock on the front door.  Aces.  sleeeeeeeep

Got up at 1pm (improvement on yesterday), showered and sort of dressed - sort of in that I have clothes on, but clothes only suitable for my own company in the house, namely: Jogging trousers, pink Eskimo boot slippers, 2 sweatshirts and my mum cardigan, hair up, lovely grey complexion and panda eyes to top it off.

Needed to get on and do some work so ensconced in the lounge under my slanket (v cold today), with crap film on.  Literally sat there for 15 minutes........... overly familiar knock on the front door.

Really?  Now?  it's like 2pm.......why are you here?

No choice but to answer as you can see me in the lounge..... and there he was....... Bert.

OK essentially, he was not here for anything in particular.  He did not even use his usual checking the cement reason.  He was just here.

Conversation went something a bit like this (I did not let him in today)

>"you been poorly" - he said he knew because the car was here (slight stalker like tendencies I am thinking)

>"yes"

>"what's wrong?"

>"Tonsillitis"

>Blah blah blah*

>"need me to get you anything, any Lucozade** etc?"

>"No I'm good"

>"you sure, just ring me if you need anything"

>"am fine thanks"

>"ok we will be back tomorrow to do some work on the job"

>"ok i wont be here I will be at work"

* blah blah blah - signifies some other pointless conversation about the driveway, fixing my light and was little D ok?

** why do people offer Lucozade?  I don't even like the stuff.  Also, the Co-op is literally around the corner from my house, next to the butchers (and we already know that this backs onto my back garden), if I really needed anything, even in my dilapidated state, I am sure I would manage to get to the Co-Op and back...

also, not sure if the inference is that I have no other friends who would get me stuff if I needed it.  Maybe I am just ungrateful at his kind offer...;

Bert also said, about RSO chatting to him on Saturday, thought he was probably "checking him out, to see if he was ok"....... scoff....

My response was along the lines of RSO nice guy and likes building stuff so was probably interested in chatting about building stuff, neglected to make reference to the "checking him out comment"...... Bert clearly has an ego.....not what I need

Can I just point out that I have found myself in this position by being nice and letting them use my driveway as access.  There are merits to not being nice.  Will try harder not to be so nice and accommodating in the future.  Would much prefer reputation as unaccommodating ice queen than this.....

ouch

Stairs: 1

Laura: 0

Bastard things.....

The Builder - Part 5

I suppose it was too much to hope that I would get through a whole weekend without a visit from Bert and I could have put money on the way it happened today.......

So Little D and I plus several others - including Rowan - were rendez vous - ing at mine and then all heading off to the small animal show.

(the "others" mentioned above will probably be reading this and have so far done nothing but mock me over the Bert saga)

So everyone had congregated in the kitchen and I was making bacon sandwiches, cheese sandwiches, coffee etc - lots of noise from the kids and chit chat and there is a knock at the door.......

I just looked at Rowan and was like "oooohhhhhh nooooooooo", so we sent Rowan's significant other to the door, followed by the kids.

Bert was somewhat surprised to see someone other than me open the door....... Rowan and I sniggering in the kitchen (Rowan more than me, I think she thought it was hilarious), in the end Bert did ask for "the lady of the house" so I bellowed I was coming - bellowing.....always attractive ....I seriously don't know what else I can do to put him off

Not absolutely certain why Bert was there, was in his work clothes, said he was checking cement, could see I was busy - no shit, you should have seen the chaos that was going on behind me.

However, due to my car issue earlier this week (you know, where the wall jumped in front of the car), I did want to send Bert on a task.

Essentially, one side of the wall is not actually a wall it is up-ended patio slabs which are placed at an angle and supporting the flower bed of the house next door.  The end one (the one which scraped the car) is a full slab but does not need to be so the end sticks out and makes the already tight turn even tighter.  I showed Bert my car and he visibly flinched, told him not to worry about that but could he do something with the wall next week - when they are back.

So he did it instantly and also the raised section on the floor which I kept catching my front tyre on - credit where credit is due.

Anyway then he said he was going to get on and check the cement at the side of the house and then go.  I said yeah fine and thanked him then went back inside to start rounding up the troops.

Rowan and co sniggering greatly inside, said Bert is too old for me and I can do better - I know....

I thought I had escaped a bit however because one of the "others" had not arrived at this point and foolishly I had thought I was safe.

after bribing the children (and some of the adults) to have a wee before we left, I went upstairs to close my bedroom window (some 20-25 minutes after I had seen Bert) only to see him still on my drive chatting to Rowan's significant other (RSO)..... WTF - I just said to Rowan "why the hell is he still here".... and what is RSO saying to him?

At that point the missing "other" turned up, just grinning when she saw Bert, I was like "just don't say it, I had thought you would have missed him"

So much running about, children, lunch boxes, drinks, coats, turn the TV off, car seat out of  car.... locking the door - after checking everyone was out.... Bert was still loitering.  As I am trying to shepherd everyone down the drive and into cars, Bert and RSO stop me - it appears they have been having a chat about rabbit proofing (pending the arrival of Annabel)  the garden, I have an issue with the fence at the back so Bert is going to get some timber and board it all up for me......

Apparently, according to RSO, he received the lifestory of Bert - this must be his opening gambit - about the cancer, the complicated wife, the gym, the work etc - I had exactly the same.  He kept saying I was a really nice "girl"...... love it, I am such a child...

anyway aside from that and the occasional sniggering and comment, we all had a lovely day and it was great to spend time with each other.....even if they are utter bastards....... mwah x

a couple of things

So I still have no Bert update...... that has not stopped me coming home each night and sitting on edge like some kangaroo on acid just in case he knocked on the door!

One of my lovely friends (you know who you are), suggested that maybe Bert is trying it on with some "other housewife" - I had to point out that I am neither house nor wife.......but here's hoping... 

So all in all a quiet couple of days for me.  Thought I would update you with a couple of other things that happened not so long ago.

NSUNG

Those of you who watch friends will be familiar with Ugly Naked Guy.........

Not long after toss post shoved off me and my friend L, had some wine (unusual I know) and for a laugh we signed up to a dating website, just so we could have a "look around" - hilarious, if you have not done it, really recommend you do...... just from the humour factor.

So periodically I get invites to chat and messages from "hot" men asking me to "chat" - I ignore, ignore, ignore.

One day, I had a message from a guy who we will call Ernie, who lives not too far away, similar age and is, well, really quite nice.

So we had a bit of chit chat, how are you, what are you doing, what are your interests etc and it all seemed quite good........ I should probably add here that I only accepted his invitation to chat because he had entitled it Naked Waiter...... well, you know, I was curious....

A bit into the chat, he asked would I be interested in going round to his house and he would serve me drinks as my naked waiter!!  He was, deadly serious.

I mean, who would do this?  I politely declined and suggested we perhaps met for a drink in a bar, I was even prepared to offer that as a compromise I would go commando.....

Apparently, he is naked all the time at home, I did ask if this was a bit hazardous... he said not...

He kept persisting but I kept refusing until he stopped talking to me as I had rejected his offer....

There were all sorts of thoughts and comments about whether he would dip his swizzle stick in my drink etc..... eugh...

If any of you know this guy or in fact have been to his house for some naked waitering.... I apologise

Kids

Took D and her friend out to the soft play place a couple of weeks ago.  Love the two of them in the back of the car, they are both 4 and have a proper grown up chat.

D's friend (F) said something about D's daddy.  the conversation then went something like this:

D: My daddy does not live with us anymore, he swapped houses
F: Oh......... why has your daddy swapped houses?
D: Because.........................
D: Mummy, why has daddy swapped houses?

Now, I like to think that by the way that I handled this, I am clearly superior being.  Firstly did not have to pull over the car due to uncontrollable sobbing (no sobbing here).

Several responses went through my head such as:
1. Because daddy is a toss pot .......No can't say that
2. Because D and F, all men are unreliable and you will learn this as you get older...........No can't say that either
3. Because daddy is a complete moron...... No.....
4. Because Mummy is far superior to daddy and daddy did not like it........Nooo
5. Because daddy does not love us....

Decided to opt for: "Because daddy decided he wanted to live in a different house"

They both seemed to accept this..... until next time...... must have answers prepared for such questions.....

Its 8.40 pm do you think I am safe from Bert for another night.  Do you think he adopts the 9pm watershed - you know the unwritten rule where you cannot call or turn up at someone else's house after 9pm, unless someone has died......

Personal Training

Just to start with today, there is no Bert the Builder update - I know you will all be devastated to hear this.  I must admit that there was a certain amount of intrepidation which accompanied me on my journey home....slightly concerned I might get home and find some gifts left on the doorstep..... however, am pleased to report today seems to have passed without any events, in that respect anyway.....................................

I did however see PT.  Started seeing PT when toss pot shoved off.  Men make you fat.  There is no other explanation.  I was at the peak of my weight during the 2011 holiday and knew I needed to do something about it but could not seem to find the effort.  However, marriage ended (world did not) and a time for change and all that.

Big fan of PT.  Love to hate him.  He hurts me and pushes me but we see results.

So I went today but had also been yesterday.  Have never done back to back days before..... and now I know why..... O.M.L

There was not one part of my body which was not screaming at me all the way through that.

Was concerned that there may be a treadmill incident, we were running (yes, I can sort of do that..... in a fashion) and my leg started to cramp, could have been a disaster - you know the sort where I collapse on the treadmill but the treadmill is still going and so it shoots me off the back and I land face down, bum up.... - anyway, did not happen, managed to persevere.

So came home, well tried to.  It seems they are digging half of town up and so I had to drive round the outside of town just to get to my house.

had a small car incident on the back - will come to that in a minute.

So walked in, all proud that I was still standing from two days of hell and then went into the kitchen to find something for dinner, knee buckled. Just squealed and fell into a heap on the floor....... elegant.

Suspect may spend rest of week crawling about and making "ah" noises when I try to sit or stand.  Sitting or standing very overrated.

So the car, a day cannot pass without incident.  I was thinking to myself earlier today how it is completely amazing that I have not sponged it when trying to get on and off the drive.  The drive is very tight and cars always park opposite so you have to get the swing right or it all goes wrong.

Guess what. That did not happen tonight.  Oops.  Stupid wall.  Maybe Bert could come and take it down for me .......

While we are on the subject, I have some very supportive friends - you know who you are - who have done nothing but mock me over the Bert situation.  Latest theory is Pheromones.  Apparently I must be giving them off in abudance.  Looked up exactly what they are:

is a secreted or excreted chemical factor that triggers a social response in members of the same species. Pheromones are chemicals capable of acting outside the body of the secreting individual to impact the behavior of the receiving individual

OK, I don't remember doing that...... How do I turn it off???

The Builder Part 4

So, as explained in earlier post, I work at home on Tuesdays. Today is Tuesday. Today I was working at home.

Went off for personal training session at lunch time - killer, and I am back there tomorrow, I mean, seriously, who does this?

Quite surprised that the morning had passed with no "visits" and then about 3.15pm there was a very friendly (overly familiar if you ask me) and assertive knock at the front door....... Guess who it was......

...tricky situation this, the car is on the drive, the TV is on, the lights are on, he knows I work at home on Tuesdays - AND, has access to the back garden so, to be honest, if I had not opened the door he may have just appeared at the french doors anyway!!!

....did the only thing I could do, open the door - "hi"... carried some papers with me to look ultra busy and workaholic (which I was and am), hoping for a hint to be taken. which it was, but only after about 20 minutes in the kitchen!!

so the reason for arriving was apparently two fold - the building work was not happening next door today as they were waiting for the concrete to set (takes about a week apparently) so

a.To check the cement........mmmm

d. To bring D some stickers.......


......I see a plan here, get in with the child to win over the mother... it seems to be an all systems go plan - well, the getting in with the child bit anyway



So, he was naturally not in his building gear today and his aftershave lingered around the kitchen for at least an hour after he had gone. This is excellent, because I was very recently post PT session....looking simply stunning. This has happened before and yet he still seems to come round...... ALOT, maybe I am not as bad as I think with no face on....



As he left, he said, he might see me later and muttered something about working less at the weekends - I hope that was not aimed at me..... I am busy this weekend....all weekend...



The PT heard all this story and says about the men in my life (there is a bit of a cyber thing going on with someone who lives not very near by) and I just looked at him and said "seriously, one is 18 years older than me and the other is miles away, it's not really a good example....."



Sadly (in some aspects) D came home from school and loved the stickers, rubbish, now - because she is a well brought up and polite child - she will want to say thank you. There are some merits in NOT bringing your children up properly.

The Builder - Part 3 , the best bit so far

So this brings us up to today.  I was home today (Monday) as D had a hospital appointment.  I have no interest in Bert, he is a nice guy but not my cup of tea, also much older than me and I am still working out where i go post mariage...

took D to school for the morning and came back expecting to see the van no the drive, no van = no builders/Bert?  Took a chance, parked back on the drive.

Literally 15 minutes later, knock at the door. Bert. I need to move the car.  Aces, move car.

20 minutes later, knock at the door. Bert.  He is at a loose end as the others have gone to do something (I am sure he told me but was not really listening), so what the hell, in he came for a cup of tea ( I know, I am an idiot).  Anyway, in he came, nice chat.  Explained what a nightmare the bathroom window was, asked why I was at home, blah blah blah.

An HOUR later he leaves.....

Go to hospital, come back and D wants to know what the builders are doing (they have normally gone by the time she gets home), so walked her round the corner to see... Bert + pals all say hello.  Run Away Phantom, run away.....

Around 2.45pm, knock on door. Bert. (I am dispensing with the alarms at this point cos I get it....), comes in, I make tea - there is a theme here.  D comes to say hello and am in full mummy mode with her and trying to chat with Bert.  Bert fixes my kitchen lights, so this is a positive I thought...

D goes off and comes back with her broken lamp and electronic hamster asking him to fix them as well...... lord....

Then D asks him to draw with her (she clearly took to him), this was odd enough.  The two of them drawing at the kitchen table while I am emptying the dishwasher..... just go with it, I told myself....

So Bert asks D what they should draw - fish....ok, tree.....ok, house.....ok, you and me and mummy altogether........... pardon?

Honestly, could it be more awkward...... I just kind of stopped what I was doing, jaw hit the floor (tried to make a casual recovery but think I failed spectacularly)...... not then helped by Bert just looking at me, really grinning and saying "she has us paired off together already"....... shit.  What to do...... shit shit shit.......arse.

I have a suspicion, he is old school and will now try and "woo" me in the proper fashion.  Oh my life, what do I do now?

As is Tuesday tomorrow, will be working at home........damn it.....

The Builder - Part 2

Go out on saturday, come back and Bert has fixed my bathroom window (from the outside), the handle had come off and I happened to mention this on Tuesday in various discussions.

Text Bert to thank him - possibly, not a great idea......

.......Out on Sunday with Rowan, am driving the car, mobile rings.....is Bert..... Rowan just bursts out laughing (she is supportive like that)....... then message beep goes on phone.  Bert has left voicemail. (alarm no. 6)

15 minutes later, still driving, mobile rings......is Bert...... Rowan bursts out laughing.......then message beep goes on phone.  Bert has left voicemail number 2..... (alarm no.7)

Listen to voicemail, Bert has been to mine to drop off some things for D re gluten free - true to his word.... and an Amazon parcel that he had taken off the post man for me the other day (!) (alarm no.8 - I had proper got it by this point).....

The Builder - Part 1

So, we live on a corner and just round the corner is a butchers and a bakers.  The back of the butcher's property is our side wall and boundary.

The butcher is having the wall taken down and a single story extension put up.  Because of this the builders need access to my garden and also they need to move the rubble using my side gate and driveway - not a problem, this all takes place during the day when I am generally not in.

A couple of Saturdays ago, there was a knock on the door and this man was standing there offering me wine!  Amazing.  Why do things like this not happen more often?  And why has it taken so long for such events to occur?

Turns out, he was the builder (which we shall call Bert - he is not really called Bert but I am aiming for an element of anon.).  Very grateful for the use of the drive, really helping them out etc etc.  How lovely.  Said he will chuck me a couple of bottles of wine every now and then for being so accommodating.  Aces.

The following Tuesday (I work at home on Tuesdays), there was a knock at the door, it was Bert.  Bert needed me to move my car so they could get the van up the drive but they had reserved me a space round the corner.  So Bert stepped in and de-iced my car for me, while I stood and watched (I can be helpless female if I want to be).....

He then walked round the corner to show me my space as I drove round - I probably could have found it on my own..... and then he walked me back to the the house and casually asked if my husband had minded Bert giving me wine.

I now have to add a small point in here in that I had thought over the events which unfolded across the rest of the day, we were having a nice chat.  My good friend Rowan pointed out this was not the case and I missed several alarm bells, which I will now flag for you as we go....

Asking if my husband minded about the wine was apparently alarm no. 1, especially when I said "no, he left" I don't like to make a secret of the toss pot and that he just upped and went....

OK good.  So back to work.  20 minutes later knock on the door (alarm no. 2), Bert.  Just letting me know that they had to dig up a tree, had a quick chat, came in for tea (I know, I know but it was -4 outside and I did not want to sit with the door open).  We had a nice casual chat about all sorts during which it was mentioned that my daughter (D) was a coeliac.  Bert declares his friend (I suspect he knows everyone) owns a shop with gluten free food so would get some stuff for D (alarm no. 3).  Yeah ok, whatever.  Off he goes.

4pm, knock at the door (alarm no.4), pleased to report did not let Bert in this time.  Letting me know they had finished.  Started telling me how old he is - 18 years older than me I might add - but how young at heart he is, so much energy, his kids are now in their teens, wanted another one, loves small kids, spending time with them etc.  And, of course that is what I will need to ensure, that I find someone who is on a par with me in terms of what I have materially and that I need someone who loves kids and can accept that I have one (Very big alarm no.5) - I did get it at this point, took me a while though......

Introduction

Welcome to the Limbo Years, so called for two reasons:

1. I am fast approaching 32 and as such am too old to be cool but too young to be middle aged, so what am I?

2. My husband has recently left me and our daughter and, although he is still in our lives, I find myself in a position which I never thought I would.  I now need to take the time to refind myself and determine how I move forward.

I have to say that so far I am quite proud of what I have done.  I could have rolled over when all the fight was gone and he left, but instead I stood up and rose above it.  That said however, over the last few weeks things have gone very very odd.....

Most recently is the builder.....