a couple of things

So I still have no Bert update...... that has not stopped me coming home each night and sitting on edge like some kangaroo on acid just in case he knocked on the door!

One of my lovely friends (you know who you are), suggested that maybe Bert is trying it on with some "other housewife" - I had to point out that I am neither house nor wife.......but here's hoping... 

So all in all a quiet couple of days for me.  Thought I would update you with a couple of other things that happened not so long ago.

NSUNG

Those of you who watch friends will be familiar with Ugly Naked Guy.........

Not long after toss post shoved off me and my friend L, had some wine (unusual I know) and for a laugh we signed up to a dating website, just so we could have a "look around" - hilarious, if you have not done it, really recommend you do...... just from the humour factor.

So periodically I get invites to chat and messages from "hot" men asking me to "chat" - I ignore, ignore, ignore.

One day, I had a message from a guy who we will call Ernie, who lives not too far away, similar age and is, well, really quite nice.

So we had a bit of chit chat, how are you, what are you doing, what are your interests etc and it all seemed quite good........ I should probably add here that I only accepted his invitation to chat because he had entitled it Naked Waiter...... well, you know, I was curious....

A bit into the chat, he asked would I be interested in going round to his house and he would serve me drinks as my naked waiter!!  He was, deadly serious.

I mean, who would do this?  I politely declined and suggested we perhaps met for a drink in a bar, I was even prepared to offer that as a compromise I would go commando.....

Apparently, he is naked all the time at home, I did ask if this was a bit hazardous... he said not...

He kept persisting but I kept refusing until he stopped talking to me as I had rejected his offer....

There were all sorts of thoughts and comments about whether he would dip his swizzle stick in my drink etc..... eugh...

If any of you know this guy or in fact have been to his house for some naked waitering.... I apologise

Kids

Took D and her friend out to the soft play place a couple of weeks ago.  Love the two of them in the back of the car, they are both 4 and have a proper grown up chat.

D's friend (F) said something about D's daddy.  the conversation then went something like this:

D: My daddy does not live with us anymore, he swapped houses
F: Oh......... why has your daddy swapped houses?
D: Because.........................
D: Mummy, why has daddy swapped houses?

Now, I like to think that by the way that I handled this, I am clearly superior being.  Firstly did not have to pull over the car due to uncontrollable sobbing (no sobbing here).

Several responses went through my head such as:
1. Because daddy is a toss pot .......No can't say that
2. Because D and F, all men are unreliable and you will learn this as you get older...........No can't say that either
3. Because daddy is a complete moron...... No.....
4. Because Mummy is far superior to daddy and daddy did not like it........Nooo
5. Because daddy does not love us....

Decided to opt for: "Because daddy decided he wanted to live in a different house"

They both seemed to accept this..... until next time...... must have answers prepared for such questions.....

Its 8.40 pm do you think I am safe from Bert for another night.  Do you think he adopts the 9pm watershed - you know the unwritten rule where you cannot call or turn up at someone else's house after 9pm, unless someone has died......