So big plans this weekend, Mable and I were hitting the town - large! Probably the first time I have hit the town in this fashion in about six years....... super excited.
New dress purchased - which in itself was a bit of a thing, I never wear a dress, but given the occasion and the weight loss I thought I would push the boat out!
So needless to say we hit the wine before we went out and then at around 8pm we were off.....
Went to a pretty lively and nice (expensive) bar and thought we would start the evening off with a cocktail. Where I live is quite affluent an area (I do not fit in!!), so most people are pretty immaculately turned out and look amazing, also, generally very slim. The good news is that the age range of people being out is quite varied so we didn't feel really "old".
Cocktail drunk, quick nip to the loo (I know but we are both mothers and so need to frequent the loo on a regular basis), walking through the super cool bar to head to the back of the building where the toilets are and Mable just completely stacks it onto both knees...which, if I am honest was quite amusing in itself but the way in which she sprang back onto two feet and carried on walking was amazing and quite possibly one of the funniest things I had ever seen (to that point), almost feline like. I had to stop walking and talking for laughing so much, even as I write this down I am laughing again at the image and I simple cannot do it justice on the blog.
So we eventually make it to the loo (once I have pulled myself together) and, because I was wearing a dress I was paranoid about coming out of the loo and it being caught up in my tights or something. I come out of the loo and as we are walking back up the stairs to the bar I say to Mable "is my dress tucked in my pants", to which she starts laughing and replied "No, but you have a load of bog roll stuck to your shoe" (which I did). FFS. This was probably a good early indication that we should not have been out.
Next bar, couple of vodkas, bit of chit chatting and some dancing, lovely time. Back into the first bar, more vodkas, more chit chatting and bit of dancing.... all lovely.
Decided we needed to move on and so went for the dodgy nightclub, which, I have to say was not as dodgy as I had first feared and we had a really great time - I will come back to that in a moment.
To get to said nightclub we had to trot down a hill, about five minutes - just a case of follow the masses. So we headed off that way just before 11. On our way out Mable decided to tell some bloke that he had bog roll stuck to his foot (which he did), good of her really....
And then she declares she needs another wee, which is tough, she will just have to wait until we get to dodgy nightclub, so off we trot laughing loudly about I have no idea what.... ( I feel people may have been looking thinking oh lord the "mothers" are out, how they would know we were mothers I have no idea). So we are talking away and and come to a small side road which we need to cross, I am walking across and suddenly become aware that Mable is not next to me, I turn round and she has walked into a stationary taxi...... this was not even a normal taxi it was a mini bus taxi and she has walked straight into it. Apparently she thought it was going to move....... this clearly set me off again....I had to go back and retrieve her and just keep walking.
Walking down the hill I then tell Mable a story I had heard in the week about someone we know who had been to a music concert and their friend had been hit in the head with some sort of a missile (now, I know what you are all thinking, usually these missiles are of a liquid capacity, but no..) a 2lb lump of Edam. Laughing again and Mable starts roaring with laughing which meant we were doubled over laughing in the street and she needed a wee (still).... we must have looked so classy. I was doing my usual laughing/crying thing that I do. We knew we had to regain composure in order to gain access to dodgy nightclub so had to stop and calm down a bit....
Composure regained and re took the plunge, into the nightclub we went. We drank and we danced and it was brilliant. Chatting to a few people and just having a laugh.
Mable decides to go off to the bar, which based on previous experiences can take about four days to return from so she (in her what only can be described as pretty shitfaced state) says to me she is off to the bar and for me to stay put, there was a girl who Mable had been dancing with when I had done my last bar trip so Mable says "you will be ok, this is Maria, she is a lesbian, she will look after you" and then before I know it she has disappeared!! Maria was really nice (no idea if she is actually a lesbian or not) but lovely, did offer to give us a lift home as she was staying until the end, however we bailed just after 2am and so opted for the taxi.
This morning was tough, Mable slept downstairs, she came upstairs at lunch time and climbed into my bed, we decided to do the only thing we could at a time like that and ordered a Dominos, I went to open the door to the delivery driver in my pyjamas and then we sat and ate it in my bed whilst watching last night's Britain's Got Talent.... feeling much better now but expecting another lull shortly....
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