Bridget Jones moment

There are many things which happen in life, which, at the time you wish they had not.  Some of these moments are, at the time, abhorrent, the sort where you just want the world to stop for a few seconds.......


Saturday was a beautiful example of one of these incidents.......


.....now, we will not go into the whys or the wherefores but lets just start with condoms in my handbag.  As most of you should know they all come linked together in a box and so there were two adjoined in my bag, I say two, it was actually one and an empty packet (it's ok, my mum knows about this, thought it best to tell her before I wrote it down...), again, we are not dispensing with the whys and the wherefores.....


I had "safely" deposited them in one of those neat little pockets in the inside of my bag, so there were not loose and would not just roam around in the sac magique.


And then I forgot about them...


Saturday, Little D and I went to Starbucks after doing some shopping in town, we sat down, like proper grown ups and then my phone beeped in my bag.  How wonderful I thought, so I reached into my bag to extract my phone from the phone pocket.......only, I hadn't put my phone in the phone pocket had I?  No. I had put it in the other pocket, the one with the said articles in it.....


So as I enthusiastically reached for my phone trying to look cool and popular (note to self, do not do this again), I whipped my phone out at great speed.  Out it came and out with it came the condoms.  Which was bad enough in itself but, given my over enthusiasm they flew threw the air across Starbucks and landed about 6 feet away from my table........ OH. MY. GOD....


It was at precisely this point I wanted the world to stop.


What to do.... no-one equips you to deal with these situations do they?  What the hell do I do?


In a split second various things ran through my head - I could just leave them, pretend they were not mine, which would work except a number of people had seen this incident and were currently starring open mouthed  (apart from the lady on the table next to me who had looked at the condoms on the floor, looked at me and then burst out laughing).  Plus some small child might pick them up....


So in the end, I decided I had no option, I just stood up, walked over to the offending items (I am sure it looked worse because one was an empty packet......), picked them up and returned to my table.


EVERYONE just looking at me......


Get back to the table Little D says "Mummy what are those?"......  I used the typical parent distraction method to get her to look out the window, thereby avoiding having to answer the question.


At this point, most normal people would have probably left, but no, I stayed. I smiled at the laughing lady next to me (who at this point was texting on her phone, probably to all her friends about what just happened) and sat and drank my coffee......


There is a lesson to this story....