At what point is it acceptable to throw your hat into the dating arena after your marriage has ended? Is there some sort of unwritten rule stating how long you are supposed to wait or can you just dive right in (so to speak)?
I am not sure that I have ever actually "dated" before and if I have, I clearly don't remember, so all in all it is a case of starting again or, maybe just starting...
The whole way in which people date has also changed, very much online now. Which is quite exciting in some respects as you can "browse" a bit like window shopping, without actually having to talk to anyone. There has in the past been a stigma around internet dating - the idea of arranging to meet someone you don't know and them turning out to be some sort of psychopath....
The concept has redeemed itself over more recent years and has become a bit of a cult and I can see why. I maintain that going out and meeting someone in a bar offers just as much chance of them being a psychopath than someone online, only differences being that they are more likely to be a drunk psychopath.... which is clearly much better. The thing to watch for on internet dating is of course that people lie about how they look or post a deceiving photograph... at least if you meet someone in a bar, beer goggles or not, you generally have some idea what they look like!!
I understand that there are some "dating" websites which you can join that specialise in a quick leg over...... I have not joined one of those (hi mum).
So I have joined a "normal" one - it was sort of done as a drunk joke one night - with a real shell of a profile. I receive multiple chat requests and views (it tells you when someone has viewed your profile) since setting up my "profile", that is not meant to sound arrogant and, I am pretty certain that on the whole it is not something to be proud of.
I tend not to speak to people online, mainly because they appear to be idiots (the people who want to talk to me, which probably says something) or they are illiterate and I don't mean they have the odd typo I mean they just cannot write or spell or even construct a sentence and, as awful as it sounds, I cannot tolerate this on any level.
I have been window shopping over the last week or so and to be honest, the mentality of some men never ceases to amaze me.
Can someone explain to me what sort of reasonable person you expect to meet online when you post a picture of either:
- just yourself looking like a complete tool - absolutely terrible photograph;
- you taking a photo of yourself in the mirror with your phone, which we can then all see, it worries me that these people a. have no other photos of themselves and b. don't have any friends who are prepared to take a photo for them;
- a photo of you (as a guy) all over another girl......
- a photo of you and (your) very expensive car, which to me says "I have no personality but I have a Ferrari" if, indeed it is even yours
Perhaps I am being a bit disingenuous, they could all be really lovely people........
So I went on a date with a potential psychopath, for some reason I decided to chat to him online and he is nice.
Personally, I felt this was a massive achievement and was quite proud for putting myself out there. We met safely in daylight in town on a busy day (better than drunk in a dark nightclub). I had the (what I can only presume are) usual pre-date nerves, will I recognise him? will he recognise me? will he actually turn up? does it matter if he doesn't?
He did turn up (in fact he was waiting for me) and we did recognise each other.
There was no physical contact - all very honourable - but a hilarious moment as we went to say goodbye to each other, where we clearly had no idea what to do next, there was a sort of awkward pause - no-one tells you how to handle these moments. In the end we settled on some small talk, thanks, would like to do it again, safe trip home (I said this, who says such stupid things?) and then kind of left.
We had a nice date and a nice walk and he is nice. Nice is a theme here.
Wednesday, 29 February 2012
Monday, 27 February 2012
The great car seat debacle
Mable came to play on Sunday with the two children. So we have Mable and I, a 4 year old, a 3 year old and a 16 month old.
It did alarm me slightly to see just how bossy my daughter is with smaller children and also, how the smaller children just lap it up. I am hoping it is normal and just a phase and no reflection on who her mother is!!
So after various activities and generally destroying the house we decided to take the kids to the park. Feeling environmentally friendly we decided we would all go in one car, no problem.
Little D is normally in the front of my car but decided, naturally she wanted to go in the back.
So all three kids are in forward facing car seats, not booster seats but proper car seats.
Car seats are big. You can fit two in the back of my saloon easily but three? really? It has three seats in the back and three seat belts but each car seat is slightly wider that the space in the car...
So we move Little D's seat into the back, Mable gets her two seats out of her car and transfers them into my car.
Put seats into my car. OK seats in fine, but, once children get into seats the fun begins. Cannot do seat belts up due to the seats being all wedged together, there is no room to get your hand down the side with the seat belt and clip it in. And of course they do that irritating thing in that the more you try and push it in, the more the catch pushes further into the seat......like it is trying to run away........ arse.
So what ensued can only be described as farcical.
imagine, one leg in the car in the back foot well, one leg outside the car trying to keep balance, bum in air. Holding seat belt and leaning in to try and clip it in, whilst leaning in, poor child with my boobs in their face, just sitting, not saying anything.
No success.
So Mable on the other side of the car leans in through the other back door and pulls one of the other seats towards her to give a gap for me to put the seat belt in. Poor child in seat is now being chucked about from side to side. And still they make no sound.
Managed to do it - only another two to go!! It must have taken twenty minutes, a lot of laughing, to the point of double over and crying, shrieking, swearing and door slamming but we eventually got all three of the poor things in the car.
So we went to the park, all got out OK and in record time. But then of course we have the farce of getting them back in again..... this time with my bum sticking out the car at the side of the road. Brilliant......
It did alarm me slightly to see just how bossy my daughter is with smaller children and also, how the smaller children just lap it up. I am hoping it is normal and just a phase and no reflection on who her mother is!!
So after various activities and generally destroying the house we decided to take the kids to the park. Feeling environmentally friendly we decided we would all go in one car, no problem.
Little D is normally in the front of my car but decided, naturally she wanted to go in the back.
So all three kids are in forward facing car seats, not booster seats but proper car seats.
Car seats are big. You can fit two in the back of my saloon easily but three? really? It has three seats in the back and three seat belts but each car seat is slightly wider that the space in the car...
So we move Little D's seat into the back, Mable gets her two seats out of her car and transfers them into my car.
Put seats into my car. OK seats in fine, but, once children get into seats the fun begins. Cannot do seat belts up due to the seats being all wedged together, there is no room to get your hand down the side with the seat belt and clip it in. And of course they do that irritating thing in that the more you try and push it in, the more the catch pushes further into the seat......like it is trying to run away........ arse.
So what ensued can only be described as farcical.
imagine, one leg in the car in the back foot well, one leg outside the car trying to keep balance, bum in air. Holding seat belt and leaning in to try and clip it in, whilst leaning in, poor child with my boobs in their face, just sitting, not saying anything.
No success.
So Mable on the other side of the car leans in through the other back door and pulls one of the other seats towards her to give a gap for me to put the seat belt in. Poor child in seat is now being chucked about from side to side. And still they make no sound.
Managed to do it - only another two to go!! It must have taken twenty minutes, a lot of laughing, to the point of double over and crying, shrieking, swearing and door slamming but we eventually got all three of the poor things in the car.
So we went to the park, all got out OK and in record time. But then of course we have the farce of getting them back in again..... this time with my bum sticking out the car at the side of the road. Brilliant......
Is it too soon to celebrate?
I was pretty confident that after Mable's outstanding performance last Saturday that I might just be able to shake Bert (which is potentially bad news from a blog perspective).
Everyday was taken as one step at a time and each day that passed with no contact made me feel a little victorious and ever so slightly smug....
Thursday came and by this point I was a bit cocky.....
Now, every time Bert has tried to call me I have been fortunate enough to be away from my desk and therefore my mobile. Which means I don't have to lie or even have a debate with myself about answering it. However, on Thursday, I was mid text message when the phone started ringing, it was in my hand. I just starred at it. Wide eyed. That number. WHY?
Clearly did not answer, after making a funny noise. Bert left a message, something about having some timber to block off the bottom of the fence so the rabbit can go in the garden and not escape. (which if you have seen other blogs he did say he would do) - but still, I am wise and cynical now - I know, it took long enough - you see if anyone else had offered to bring me some timber for the rabbit I would say "that's lovely, thanks very much", but it is not anyone else is it? It is Bert. Bert. The man who will use any excuse to come to my house and utilise my time. Not least because I don't want to accept his wood.
So, did not call him back. The weekend and Tuesdays are always the litmus test. We have just had the weekend and no Bert. Well, potentially, not strictly true - was not here most of the weekend. Had small date on Saturday and was out for a bit on Sunday afternoon with Mable. So he may have called round and would have been disappointed.
I did see his car as I took Little D to school this morning. It was parked opposite the butchers and not outside my house. More smugness. I am wondering if I am setting myself up for a fall here, I guess we will find out tomorrow.... I have agreed with myself if he does not come tomorrow then I have won (mainly down to Mable).
Everyday was taken as one step at a time and each day that passed with no contact made me feel a little victorious and ever so slightly smug....
Thursday came and by this point I was a bit cocky.....
Now, every time Bert has tried to call me I have been fortunate enough to be away from my desk and therefore my mobile. Which means I don't have to lie or even have a debate with myself about answering it. However, on Thursday, I was mid text message when the phone started ringing, it was in my hand. I just starred at it. Wide eyed. That number. WHY?
Clearly did not answer, after making a funny noise. Bert left a message, something about having some timber to block off the bottom of the fence so the rabbit can go in the garden and not escape. (which if you have seen other blogs he did say he would do) - but still, I am wise and cynical now - I know, it took long enough - you see if anyone else had offered to bring me some timber for the rabbit I would say "that's lovely, thanks very much", but it is not anyone else is it? It is Bert. Bert. The man who will use any excuse to come to my house and utilise my time. Not least because I don't want to accept his wood.
So, did not call him back. The weekend and Tuesdays are always the litmus test. We have just had the weekend and no Bert. Well, potentially, not strictly true - was not here most of the weekend. Had small date on Saturday and was out for a bit on Sunday afternoon with Mable. So he may have called round and would have been disappointed.
I did see his car as I took Little D to school this morning. It was parked opposite the butchers and not outside my house. More smugness. I am wondering if I am setting myself up for a fall here, I guess we will find out tomorrow.... I have agreed with myself if he does not come tomorrow then I have won (mainly down to Mable).
Saturday, 18 February 2012
What now...ctd....
Mable laughed.
In he came. He half smirked at me, suspect I may have looked hungover. Then said that he was concerned because my car was not on the drive (had left it at the station and got the train to work on Friday) that maybe I had met some bloke and gone back to his house. Now, I am not sure what this says about him but also what he thinks about me....am I the sort of person to do that??
I am trying really hard to remember the exact order of what went on conversation wise from this point onwards but so much went on, I might get it a bit out of order...
Bert and Mable introduced (Mable still in her pyjamas) Bert starts explaining how he looks after himself to Mable (in a fitness and food sense and no other - in case you were wondering). Bert explains he has two children, I said Mable also has two children and something about me only have one and no more. Bert looks very surprised at me, questioned why I would not have anymore, implied that he thought I would. Explained that Toss Pot and I had always said only one, clearly position has now changed so never say never but very unlikely, especially as Little D nearly five and I would not want a massive age gap. Bert says I might need to have one quickly then - I think it was more the way he said it. (I am thinking, yes, maybe but not with you). Mable brilliantly steps in at this point and says I have more than enough to think about at the moment.
Bert goes on to talk about his daughter and then something so odd happened, this absolute display of arrogance from him which I had never seen before. I suspect there may have been a bit of "showing off" going on for the purposes of Mable but he was like a peacock, might as well have started strutting up and down the kitchen.
Basically and trying to keep it brief, he mentioned his daughter had her 18th birthday party recently and it was difficult because of the many scantily clad young ladies walking round and apparently a couple of them tried it on with Bert saying he had such a great body. I think at this point Mable and I exchanged a glance...
Mable asked if daughter had a boyfriend (she was so stirring), he said she had until just before Christmas, the guy was not nice to her, cheated on her, wrote not nice things on FB - which is not a nice thing to do and I agree that naturally, as a parent you would be upset and hacked off about this. However, Bert went on to say that he basically made this guys life really difficult, has connections, ensured he did not get his promotion at work, went round to speak to him and his parents.... really went to town with the whole I will protect what is mine, will go to any lengths, very territorial, brought up in a certain way to respect women etc. It was all very weird.
Bert then said to Mable, "has she told you how old I am" (not sure what the implication was here). Mable (how I love her) just looked at him and said "I can see how old you are!" I did actually burst out laughing....
So I tried to placate the situation by saying yes she knows and he looks all pleased "what else have you said about me" I said nothing and Mable says "just that you are the builder from next door and you need to use the garden" :)
Bert seemed mortified at how much I had had to drink last night, 3 wines and 6 vodkas.... do not think this was appalling for a night out on the piss.... maybe it has changed his view of me.......*hopes*
Bert then decides to go and shakes Mable's hand to say good bye, at this point i was routing around in the under stairs cupboard for a carrier bag for Mable. As he comes past me he puts his hands (yes plural) on my shoulders and back and says he will see me later......... *shiver*
Start getting ready to leave to walk to collect car and walk Mable to station when Bert knocks on the door again, asks me about the light in the lounge (might be back later to fix it for me). Asked when I was at home next week, explained am not as have to work somewhere else (true), he says "You mean I have to wait an entire week before I see you again" I said "I am sure you will survive" and then something about him finding entertainment with another housewife - I said this as I walked off to get my bag, he then said to Mable "I think she might be fishing" to which Mable, very heroically said "I don't think she is the one who is fishing is she?" I was nearly wetting myself with laughter in the lounge, Bert looked completely flummoxed by this and had no idea what to say. Mabel you are the best.
He has called since and is now not coming to do the light as is caught up somewhere else - shame.
So I think it is fair to say that nothing is working. Mable has confirmed I did not lead him on, say or do anything wrong but the arrogance in him indicates he thinks he is on to a winner. And now it would seem expects us to have a baby. Still not actually asked me out so I can't say no - I am now wondering if this is his plan, he suspects I will say no if he asks so is just not asking, I expect I will just come home one night and he will have moved in......
Hot Guy, I think you and your pants might be required....
What now???
So I have a couple of days to update you on and it is fair to say that this will be a long update so get yourself comfy and a cup of tea/glass of wine etc....oh and make sure you have had a wee...
Ready? OK, I will begin....
So after the phone call regarding the meter I did not make any contact. On reflection calling him back on that occasion may not have been the best thing to do and of course, now Bert thinks he is swinging by with McDonalds on Saturday morning.
This has caused much amusement amongst the audience of this blog, this was apparent from the reaction at work, mainly at my complete inability to deal with the situation effectively...
More recently Hot Guy (who does read this) has felt it necessary to interject himself into my life to try and sort out this farce. Many a discussion has now been had about the fact that I am indeed an idiot when it comes to matters such as this. Apparently, where I have been going wrong is that I have been giving off the wrong signals, I have pointed out I have given no such signals but the key issue seems to be that I have at no point said NO - which, according to boys, is what you need to do. I am still slightly perplexed by this as what exactly am I saying No to? He has not actually asked me anything. In fact, I have been waiting for him to ask so that I can then say no.... but he has not asked...
Based on the fact that I am not familiar with such situations and what to say, Hot Guy has pointed out that if I don't nip it in the bud I will end up getting married to Bert (after all, we would be having dinner on Saturday - McDonalds is not dinner) or failing that, I will have to move house just to avoid him....
So, I am now banned from speaking or communicating with Bert without consulting with Hot Guy first. Hot Guy feels he is an expert in dealing with such situations (I did not like to ask how he became such an expert ;) ) and will be able to tell me the correct thing to say. OK. All agreed.
Got back to my desk, following this conversation, to a missed call on my mobile and a voice mail message. Bert. Seriously? Cannot even remember what the message was now but it did not require a call back and so I did not. Later in the afternoon I return to my desk from a meeting to another missed call. Bert. No Message. Therefore did not call back.
Friday arrives and various meetings to attend in the office (just for a change!). Come back from meeting. Missed call and message. Bert. Message, I felt had a bit of a tone and went something like "Hi, it's just me Bert, I have not heard from you so am calling to see if you are OK"........ OMG. What now?
Go and track down Hot Guy and seek advice (following previous instructions). Hot Guy instructs me what to say via text - which went something like this
"Hi, been really busy. Sorry I did not call you back but I did not think it was important. off out now and friend is staying over tonight, we will be out in the am on Saturday."
Perfect. Message sent.
Had also thought that if Hot Guy wants to help out so much (in respect of this situation) that another option would be that he comes and sits in my house in his pants and when Bert comes round, Hot Guy answers the door. This would purely be in the name of helping me with the Bert situation. Ran this stroke of genius by Hot Guy who thought this could work, on the provision that he could wear socks as well, otherwise he might feel under dressed. Did not feel I could object. Did point out that I did not know when Bert would actually call round and so Hot Guy might to have to sit for a while in his pants in my house........ I repeat, all in the name of helping me out.......
So then 5pm came and a few of us were out to play for a belated birthday session.
I was brave and wore the skinniest jeans the world has seen, the sort where you need to use both hands just to get them over your feet.... In order to facilitate skinny jeans I did have to opt for the large pants. I am not kidding when I say large pants. If you think you know what I am talking about because you have seen Bridget Jones, then let me just say, her pants, not a patch on mine....
....They start above my knees and resemble cycling shorts in that respect, come right up to under my boobs and then have straps (like braces) to keep them from falling down. All in the aid of that slightly more streamlined and less lumpy look - which, to be fair they worked. However, and I can see you wondering this, what happens when you need a wee? Well, and I can hardly believe I am about to tell you this (but I am because it is funny) there is a strategically placed hole in the suit, presumable with the aim that you don't have to take all your clothes off just to have a pee. which in theory is great, however, there was clearly a lack of thought on my part as logistically the only way you could use the hole properly would be to literally straddle the toilet with one leg either side of the bowl. Great. Does not work if you have skinny jeans on though does it? So I had two options, take my jeans off and straddle or just take my top off so I could take the straps off. I went for the latter option, but did therefore require supervision every-time I went for a wee.....Might need to have a rethink for next time...
We had a good night, few wines and vodkas and then last train home. Mable (obv not really called Mable) came back to mine and slept in Little D's cabin bed - secretly, I think she enjoyed it.
This brings us to this morning.
Now, I was supremely confident that there would be no further phone calls or a McDonalds visit from Bert due to the expert advice from Hot Guy. Mable and I had a (rather unsurprisingly) slow start to the morning but not long after I had showered and dressed - still with wet hair and Mable in Pyjamas - there is a knock at the door....... ohhhhh nooooo really?
Ready? OK, I will begin....
So after the phone call regarding the meter I did not make any contact. On reflection calling him back on that occasion may not have been the best thing to do and of course, now Bert thinks he is swinging by with McDonalds on Saturday morning.
This has caused much amusement amongst the audience of this blog, this was apparent from the reaction at work, mainly at my complete inability to deal with the situation effectively...
More recently Hot Guy (who does read this) has felt it necessary to interject himself into my life to try and sort out this farce. Many a discussion has now been had about the fact that I am indeed an idiot when it comes to matters such as this. Apparently, where I have been going wrong is that I have been giving off the wrong signals, I have pointed out I have given no such signals but the key issue seems to be that I have at no point said NO - which, according to boys, is what you need to do. I am still slightly perplexed by this as what exactly am I saying No to? He has not actually asked me anything. In fact, I have been waiting for him to ask so that I can then say no.... but he has not asked...
Based on the fact that I am not familiar with such situations and what to say, Hot Guy has pointed out that if I don't nip it in the bud I will end up getting married to Bert (after all, we would be having dinner on Saturday - McDonalds is not dinner) or failing that, I will have to move house just to avoid him....
So, I am now banned from speaking or communicating with Bert without consulting with Hot Guy first. Hot Guy feels he is an expert in dealing with such situations (I did not like to ask how he became such an expert ;) ) and will be able to tell me the correct thing to say. OK. All agreed.
Got back to my desk, following this conversation, to a missed call on my mobile and a voice mail message. Bert. Seriously? Cannot even remember what the message was now but it did not require a call back and so I did not. Later in the afternoon I return to my desk from a meeting to another missed call. Bert. No Message. Therefore did not call back.
Friday arrives and various meetings to attend in the office (just for a change!). Come back from meeting. Missed call and message. Bert. Message, I felt had a bit of a tone and went something like "Hi, it's just me Bert, I have not heard from you so am calling to see if you are OK"........ OMG. What now?
Go and track down Hot Guy and seek advice (following previous instructions). Hot Guy instructs me what to say via text - which went something like this
"Hi, been really busy. Sorry I did not call you back but I did not think it was important. off out now and friend is staying over tonight, we will be out in the am on Saturday."
Perfect. Message sent.
Had also thought that if Hot Guy wants to help out so much (in respect of this situation) that another option would be that he comes and sits in my house in his pants and when Bert comes round, Hot Guy answers the door. This would purely be in the name of helping me with the Bert situation. Ran this stroke of genius by Hot Guy who thought this could work, on the provision that he could wear socks as well, otherwise he might feel under dressed. Did not feel I could object. Did point out that I did not know when Bert would actually call round and so Hot Guy might to have to sit for a while in his pants in my house........ I repeat, all in the name of helping me out.......
So then 5pm came and a few of us were out to play for a belated birthday session.
I was brave and wore the skinniest jeans the world has seen, the sort where you need to use both hands just to get them over your feet.... In order to facilitate skinny jeans I did have to opt for the large pants. I am not kidding when I say large pants. If you think you know what I am talking about because you have seen Bridget Jones, then let me just say, her pants, not a patch on mine....
....They start above my knees and resemble cycling shorts in that respect, come right up to under my boobs and then have straps (like braces) to keep them from falling down. All in the aid of that slightly more streamlined and less lumpy look - which, to be fair they worked. However, and I can see you wondering this, what happens when you need a wee? Well, and I can hardly believe I am about to tell you this (but I am because it is funny) there is a strategically placed hole in the suit, presumable with the aim that you don't have to take all your clothes off just to have a pee. which in theory is great, however, there was clearly a lack of thought on my part as logistically the only way you could use the hole properly would be to literally straddle the toilet with one leg either side of the bowl. Great. Does not work if you have skinny jeans on though does it? So I had two options, take my jeans off and straddle or just take my top off so I could take the straps off. I went for the latter option, but did therefore require supervision every-time I went for a wee.....Might need to have a rethink for next time...
We had a good night, few wines and vodkas and then last train home. Mable (obv not really called Mable) came back to mine and slept in Little D's cabin bed - secretly, I think she enjoyed it.
This brings us to this morning.
Now, I was supremely confident that there would be no further phone calls or a McDonalds visit from Bert due to the expert advice from Hot Guy. Mable and I had a (rather unsurprisingly) slow start to the morning but not long after I had showered and dressed - still with wet hair and Mable in Pyjamas - there is a knock at the door....... ohhhhh nooooo really?
Wednesday, 15 February 2012
The Builder - post Valentine
ahhh, so you know I said yesterday that really, maybe we had misread Bert and perhaps he was not interested at all, well..... it is amazing how much one phone call can change everything.....
Trotted off to Cambridge and did my presentation - it went well, thanks for asking - came out and did the usual check my phones.
Missed call on personal phone and message. Listened to message, was Bert. Something about a guy trying to read the meter and saving money. Had no idea what he was on about so called him back.
Bert VERY pleased to hear from me, this much I could tell. Said he was still a bit ill (although sounds quite ill as on mega antibiotics and had to go to hospital yesterday). Explained nonsense about man wanting to read the meter and it might save me money.
Went on to ask if I had sack loads of Valentine stuff (tempted to say yes but really....) so naturally said no and laughed. Said no different to any other year. Bert seemed quite shocked at this. Then said (you will love this, I can tell you are all waiting) that he would have come with flowers but was on his death bed. I mean, what do you say to this? I think I said something like "Oh it's fine" in some sort of over enthusiastic manner, which could imply it was not fine, when it was really....
He then asked if I was at home tomorrow, I said no in the office the rest of the week and then out Friday night. This was met with "Oh I will call in at the weekend then, if you are out on Friday you will want some TLC on Saturday so I will come round with a McDonalds".....erm..... (i do like the idea of the McDonalds but that is it)
all I could muster was a "not too early" and he said it was OK as he would call first.......
so once again I hang up the phone and think to myself - what the hell just happened here..... I am really not very good at this.
and just to be clear, I have tried to like him in that way, thinking he is a nice guy and I could do a lot worse, but as much as I try....no....... nothing, absolutely nothing.......
I guess roll on Friday night and Saturday morning then...if anyone from Friday night would like to come back to mine to stay and enjoy McDonalds in the morning then please let me know - safety in numbers and all that...
Trotted off to Cambridge and did my presentation - it went well, thanks for asking - came out and did the usual check my phones.
Missed call on personal phone and message. Listened to message, was Bert. Something about a guy trying to read the meter and saving money. Had no idea what he was on about so called him back.
Bert VERY pleased to hear from me, this much I could tell. Said he was still a bit ill (although sounds quite ill as on mega antibiotics and had to go to hospital yesterday). Explained nonsense about man wanting to read the meter and it might save me money.
Went on to ask if I had sack loads of Valentine stuff (tempted to say yes but really....) so naturally said no and laughed. Said no different to any other year. Bert seemed quite shocked at this. Then said (you will love this, I can tell you are all waiting) that he would have come with flowers but was on his death bed. I mean, what do you say to this? I think I said something like "Oh it's fine" in some sort of over enthusiastic manner, which could imply it was not fine, when it was really....
He then asked if I was at home tomorrow, I said no in the office the rest of the week and then out Friday night. This was met with "Oh I will call in at the weekend then, if you are out on Friday you will want some TLC on Saturday so I will come round with a McDonalds".....erm..... (i do like the idea of the McDonalds but that is it)
all I could muster was a "not too early" and he said it was OK as he would call first.......
so once again I hang up the phone and think to myself - what the hell just happened here..... I am really not very good at this.
and just to be clear, I have tried to like him in that way, thinking he is a nice guy and I could do a lot worse, but as much as I try....no....... nothing, absolutely nothing.......
I guess roll on Friday night and Saturday morning then...if anyone from Friday night would like to come back to mine to stay and enjoy McDonalds in the morning then please let me know - safety in numbers and all that...
Tuesday, 14 February 2012
Valentine's Day??
I know you will all have been waiting to hear what happened today.... were there any grand and romantic gestures?
and I am afraid you will all be disappointed..... nothing, nada, zilch, not even a card.... so in that respect it has been just like any other valentine's day lol!!
'rents have a theory that it would be too risky for Bert to rock up with anything for the big V day given that he is well known and his business thrives on his reputation OR maybe we have all been reading it wrong and he is not really interested at all....... I will leave that for you to decide.
Toss pot has offered to take Little D for an extra night a fortnight to try and give me a bit more time and, I have agreed to actually ask him if I need him to cover. He has made the valid point that he can't actually help if he does not know I need help. I will give him that.
The someone he is seeing is someone from work, if I was cynical and suspicious I may think it was going on before he left but he swears not and I am inclined to believe it. He also says he had no feelings for said person before he left, this, I am less inclined to believe. I suspect it might have been the final push and you know what, I am OK with that, I get it. For him to feel anything for someone else means we were not right and we both had a responsibility to our relationship. I don't like it, but I get it and I don't hold it against him. It's funny how far you can come as an adult and how even when the most painful thing ever can happen to you, that you can keep your head and your balance and the right level of perspective. I don't generally have a lot of nice things to say about myself but on this one, I am superior being and I will continue to be superior.
And by being amazing and superior being I will tell myself he does not know what he has let go....
Now I have massive respect for all stay at home mums, it was never something I could have or would have done. Quite probably the hardest job in the world, it is just constant.
I also have massive respect for working parents, I was thinking about what I have on over the next couple of days and it goes something like this:
and I am afraid you will all be disappointed..... nothing, nada, zilch, not even a card.... so in that respect it has been just like any other valentine's day lol!!
'rents have a theory that it would be too risky for Bert to rock up with anything for the big V day given that he is well known and his business thrives on his reputation OR maybe we have all been reading it wrong and he is not really interested at all....... I will leave that for you to decide.
Toss pot has offered to take Little D for an extra night a fortnight to try and give me a bit more time and, I have agreed to actually ask him if I need him to cover. He has made the valid point that he can't actually help if he does not know I need help. I will give him that.
The someone he is seeing is someone from work, if I was cynical and suspicious I may think it was going on before he left but he swears not and I am inclined to believe it. He also says he had no feelings for said person before he left, this, I am less inclined to believe. I suspect it might have been the final push and you know what, I am OK with that, I get it. For him to feel anything for someone else means we were not right and we both had a responsibility to our relationship. I don't like it, but I get it and I don't hold it against him. It's funny how far you can come as an adult and how even when the most painful thing ever can happen to you, that you can keep your head and your balance and the right level of perspective. I don't generally have a lot of nice things to say about myself but on this one, I am superior being and I will continue to be superior.
And by being amazing and superior being I will tell myself he does not know what he has let go....
Now I have massive respect for all stay at home mums, it was never something I could have or would have done. Quite probably the hardest job in the world, it is just constant.
I also have massive respect for working parents, I was thinking about what I have on over the next couple of days and it goes something like this:
So today I started work at 8am, went to train 12 - 1, worked
until 5.30, picked up Little D, fed her, bathed her, did some
washing, changed all the bedding in the house, made her packed lunch for
tomorrow, sorted my dinner and the dishes, now working on my presentation
for the session tomorrow, ready to get up at 6, leave the house at
7.15 (after getting Little D ready), dropping her at holiday club, driving
180 miles to Cambridge, doing presentation, networking lunch,
driving back from Cambridge to pick her up all before 6.30, get home,
feed her, get her into bed, get packed lunch ready, do some shopping,
more work etc etc before going to bed tomorrow and starting again on
Thursday when I have to take her 20 miles out of my way to my auntie who
is looking after her on Thursday.........relentless springs
to mind.
I am thinking of that Michael McIntyre sketch (you may have seen it), something along the lines of people who don't have children and think that they would like to have children because they know what it would be like..... you think you know, you think you know, but really you don't, really you have no idea..... yes, it certainly is a bit like that. (if you have not seen this then you really should, I was crying laughing)
So massive respect to all parents working or otherwise......
Sunday, 12 February 2012
Worst weekend of the year so far????
OK so the blog is generally full of amusing antic dotes about the builder and his various activities but sometimes, as funny as they are, they become over shadowed by the other side of life. The side which when it happens feels pretty shit but it needs to happen in order to appreciate the good times.
This weekend was definitely one of those.... since toss pot left there have been no tears and no tantrums but I think come Saturday morning I had hit a brick wall and the tears came and would not stop for hours.
As usual, with any of these situations it is the smallest of small things which actually tip you over the edge. You have been balancing precariously for a while but managing to hang on and then something ridiculous - like the rabbit unplugging the amplifier so the TV goes off, for example - for the world to come crashing in on you.
There has undoubtedly been a build up to the crash on Saturday but then, the weekend itself brought a ton of horse poo with it....
In brief, it is tough (and this is not a woe is me tale), toss pot shoved off three months ago and since then it has been a constant race of work, school, child care and activities, house etc. My job is not anything special but is quite demanding and requires I work additional hours and sometimes travel, which means sourcing child care and working around things.
Toss pot is a good father - I will never take that away from him - but at the moment we are split 75%/25% on the child care - 75% is with me. I get very little in terms of financial support and I have to sort all the logistics and medical issues. It is half term next week (seriously, I could not believe this, they have only just gone back to school) and so a whole new set of logistical issues have presented themselves.
I am trying to work out how to juggle the finances, including the remortgage into my name and the "good" debt which I took as a trade off to keep the house....
So Saturday morning - not good.
And then, after the potentially suicidal start to the weekend, it got a bit better. Toss pot and I talked and he is happy to try and to more to put some balance back and then coffee and cake with a good friends brings it all back to perspective and then...... just because, I was clearly not entitled to any good news without bad this weekend....
Little D woke in the night screaming in pain and rolling around, she is very much like me in that when she is in pain she cannot be touched or comforted. I knew instantly what it was, she has had it before. Threadworm, probably from some dirty child at school with a dog.
9pm on a Saturday night, what can you do? I rang toss pot - something that I NEVER do - and he was in Leeds, I did give him a right earful about it and he came back but just missed the chemist. He managed to help me calm Little D down and two hours after she had woken up she went back to sleep. Whilst I was trying to console her when he was on his way back, I became aware that she was scratching her head A LOT. Fuck. Nits as well, brilliant, where the hell has this child been?
Toss pot came back this morning, having been to the chemist first thing with worm medicine and nit stuff. It took both of us 2.5 hours to convince Little D to take the medicine (mixed in with some Haribo) and apply the nit stuff to wash her hair - to say she was a bit resistant would be an understatement.
So I am combing the nit stuff through her hair and oh my life, I have never seen so many, it was just awful. I was so totally appalled. She definitely had not got them earlier in the week (when you have a child of school age you nit check on a regular basis) but she was absolutely rife with them.... it was horrible.
She is OK now - nit wise, but eugh
Toss pot and I worked together quite well and I was quite proud of us but, something was coming, and I knew it was, I had suspected for a while but I needed to hear it.
Toss pot is seeing someone else. Someone I know of. Someone from work..... apparently been going on for the last month or so, adamant it was not going on before he left. I am inclined to believe at least some of this, I can usually tell when he is lying, I am just not going to over think it... one of us was bound to get there first.
And so, it would seem that it is done.
How do I feel about this? You know, surprisingly OK, like I said, I knew. Had done for a while. The emotional pull I had towards him has long since disappeared. Little D is all that matters now.
Little D who is now screaming again as she has woken up in more terrible pain.... the meds will kick in in a couple of days, for now, we sit it out. I was going to do some work tonight but opted for wine and Ashley Banjo instead......
I do have some builder news (we cannot have a blog update without any), he is not well, did call in yesterday for about five minutes. I think instantly identified that I was not having a great day and so entertained Little D for a bit and then left. Except that when he knocked on the door I was cuddling the rabbit, you can imagine where she was nestled.... and Bert just swooped in for a stroke (of the rabbit), we are definitely having personal space issues. Although maybe now he has seen me on a "bad" day it might put him off...... nothing else seems to..... lol
I promise, the next update will be of a more positive nature.....
This weekend was definitely one of those.... since toss pot left there have been no tears and no tantrums but I think come Saturday morning I had hit a brick wall and the tears came and would not stop for hours.
As usual, with any of these situations it is the smallest of small things which actually tip you over the edge. You have been balancing precariously for a while but managing to hang on and then something ridiculous - like the rabbit unplugging the amplifier so the TV goes off, for example - for the world to come crashing in on you.
There has undoubtedly been a build up to the crash on Saturday but then, the weekend itself brought a ton of horse poo with it....
In brief, it is tough (and this is not a woe is me tale), toss pot shoved off three months ago and since then it has been a constant race of work, school, child care and activities, house etc. My job is not anything special but is quite demanding and requires I work additional hours and sometimes travel, which means sourcing child care and working around things.
Toss pot is a good father - I will never take that away from him - but at the moment we are split 75%/25% on the child care - 75% is with me. I get very little in terms of financial support and I have to sort all the logistics and medical issues. It is half term next week (seriously, I could not believe this, they have only just gone back to school) and so a whole new set of logistical issues have presented themselves.
I am trying to work out how to juggle the finances, including the remortgage into my name and the "good" debt which I took as a trade off to keep the house....
So Saturday morning - not good.
And then, after the potentially suicidal start to the weekend, it got a bit better. Toss pot and I talked and he is happy to try and to more to put some balance back and then coffee and cake with a good friends brings it all back to perspective and then...... just because, I was clearly not entitled to any good news without bad this weekend....
Little D woke in the night screaming in pain and rolling around, she is very much like me in that when she is in pain she cannot be touched or comforted. I knew instantly what it was, she has had it before. Threadworm, probably from some dirty child at school with a dog.
9pm on a Saturday night, what can you do? I rang toss pot - something that I NEVER do - and he was in Leeds, I did give him a right earful about it and he came back but just missed the chemist. He managed to help me calm Little D down and two hours after she had woken up she went back to sleep. Whilst I was trying to console her when he was on his way back, I became aware that she was scratching her head A LOT. Fuck. Nits as well, brilliant, where the hell has this child been?
Toss pot came back this morning, having been to the chemist first thing with worm medicine and nit stuff. It took both of us 2.5 hours to convince Little D to take the medicine (mixed in with some Haribo) and apply the nit stuff to wash her hair - to say she was a bit resistant would be an understatement.
So I am combing the nit stuff through her hair and oh my life, I have never seen so many, it was just awful. I was so totally appalled. She definitely had not got them earlier in the week (when you have a child of school age you nit check on a regular basis) but she was absolutely rife with them.... it was horrible.
She is OK now - nit wise, but eugh
Toss pot and I worked together quite well and I was quite proud of us but, something was coming, and I knew it was, I had suspected for a while but I needed to hear it.
Toss pot is seeing someone else. Someone I know of. Someone from work..... apparently been going on for the last month or so, adamant it was not going on before he left. I am inclined to believe at least some of this, I can usually tell when he is lying, I am just not going to over think it... one of us was bound to get there first.
And so, it would seem that it is done.
How do I feel about this? You know, surprisingly OK, like I said, I knew. Had done for a while. The emotional pull I had towards him has long since disappeared. Little D is all that matters now.
Little D who is now screaming again as she has woken up in more terrible pain.... the meds will kick in in a couple of days, for now, we sit it out. I was going to do some work tonight but opted for wine and Ashley Banjo instead......
I do have some builder news (we cannot have a blog update without any), he is not well, did call in yesterday for about five minutes. I think instantly identified that I was not having a great day and so entertained Little D for a bit and then left. Except that when he knocked on the door I was cuddling the rabbit, you can imagine where she was nestled.... and Bert just swooped in for a stroke (of the rabbit), we are definitely having personal space issues. Although maybe now he has seen me on a "bad" day it might put him off...... nothing else seems to..... lol
I promise, the next update will be of a more positive nature.....
Friday, 10 February 2012
The Builder - Part 9
Isn't it amazing how much can happen to you before 8.30 am.......
Yesterday I went to wet Glasgow, nice 16 hour day - quite tired by the time I got back.
Pleased to report that despite snow in York, I did manage to get home without having to call on super Bert to come and retrieve me, although, there was one brief moment where I could not get my car out of my space and I did wonder....
So up at 6 to go for PT session at 7am.... why? why would you do this?
Anyway, PT session done, come home get changed. Road a bit of an ice rink this morning, all sorts of skidding and sliding going on. Parked car on the road, decided not to attempt the drive.
Showered, dressed, Annabel fed, ready for work, Open the front door to leave and who is lurking at the bottom of the drive....... yep you guessed it........ Good Morning Bert!!
Claims he was there waiting for the other guys to arrive with the van....
Could not actually get out of the front door as he was suddenly there, leaning all cas on the door frame. Aces.
First thing he says "You did not need to call me last night then?" - this references earlier in the week when he said something about getting his cape to come and get me if it was snowing... No, No I did not, well spotted...
Asked me what time I got home etc, we did watch a bit of fabulous driving in the road resulting in another spin.
Started talking about the driveway and the need to widen it, said he would have a look into it and see how much it would cost. I said I could not afford to do it at the moment and then I said (and I have no idea why I would say this) "I just can't do it at the moment, remember I have been abandoned..." I mean why would you say that?? Hardly words of discouragement are they?
He did look all sympathetic and say "I know" in the 'voice', you know the almost puppy eyed cutsie sort of voice - although he did not pull it off well I have to say.
Likes to talk about how young he is, was doing that again, I am sure that went on for a while but I zoned out for a bit - so rude....
asked if I was going away again, said I had a few things coming up (which I do), asked what happens to Little D - said a combination of things, toss pot has her sometimes (although I do not always like to ask him to do much extra), sometimes I get back on time, sometimes a friend collects her. Bert said his daughter (18) would look after Little D - which was lovely and really nice and Little D probably would not care but I don't really know them. I can also see where this would lead..... Hey look we have a babysitter, we can go out....... hmmmmmm
We talked a bit about the gym (I should say here, and I have said this before, he is a nice guy to chat to, no problem there), asked me if I stretched properly - an alarm should have gone off here, but as we have established I am not great with the whole spotting alarm thing - I said yes and PT helps me with that.... he then said something along the lines of "Oh yes, I would be able to help you with that" and then I think he immediately regretted it and tried to back track.... I just glossed over it and said something like it being a bit early for that.
He also asked when I would be back home tonight - this immediately makes me suspicious, why would you ask that? Spent the entire day thinking he might be here when I got home but no, no visits (yet) and lets hope for no more as I am in my pyjamas (8.30 on a Friday night), with a glass of wine, under my slanket...... I am so rock n roll...
So a few peeps at work have become aware of the whole Bert scenario and, it has to be said, NOT helpful. Between laughing and smirking at ridiculousness of the whole situation there are many views that the hand on shoulder incident earlier in the week is a sign of trouble..... great.....
They asked me if I would go out with him if he asked. I said I would not want to but might be worried about upsetting him. This has caused much amusement and now the office has visions of me going out with him because I couldnt say no and then I have to keep going out with him and then we get married.....all because I could not say no...... I may need to work on this....
Still, it is the weekend tomorrow, what can possibly happen?????
Yesterday I went to wet Glasgow, nice 16 hour day - quite tired by the time I got back.
Pleased to report that despite snow in York, I did manage to get home without having to call on super Bert to come and retrieve me, although, there was one brief moment where I could not get my car out of my space and I did wonder....
So up at 6 to go for PT session at 7am.... why? why would you do this?
Anyway, PT session done, come home get changed. Road a bit of an ice rink this morning, all sorts of skidding and sliding going on. Parked car on the road, decided not to attempt the drive.
Showered, dressed, Annabel fed, ready for work, Open the front door to leave and who is lurking at the bottom of the drive....... yep you guessed it........ Good Morning Bert!!
Claims he was there waiting for the other guys to arrive with the van....
Could not actually get out of the front door as he was suddenly there, leaning all cas on the door frame. Aces.
First thing he says "You did not need to call me last night then?" - this references earlier in the week when he said something about getting his cape to come and get me if it was snowing... No, No I did not, well spotted...
Asked me what time I got home etc, we did watch a bit of fabulous driving in the road resulting in another spin.
Started talking about the driveway and the need to widen it, said he would have a look into it and see how much it would cost. I said I could not afford to do it at the moment and then I said (and I have no idea why I would say this) "I just can't do it at the moment, remember I have been abandoned..." I mean why would you say that?? Hardly words of discouragement are they?
He did look all sympathetic and say "I know" in the 'voice', you know the almost puppy eyed cutsie sort of voice - although he did not pull it off well I have to say.
Likes to talk about how young he is, was doing that again, I am sure that went on for a while but I zoned out for a bit - so rude....
asked if I was going away again, said I had a few things coming up (which I do), asked what happens to Little D - said a combination of things, toss pot has her sometimes (although I do not always like to ask him to do much extra), sometimes I get back on time, sometimes a friend collects her. Bert said his daughter (18) would look after Little D - which was lovely and really nice and Little D probably would not care but I don't really know them. I can also see where this would lead..... Hey look we have a babysitter, we can go out....... hmmmmmm
We talked a bit about the gym (I should say here, and I have said this before, he is a nice guy to chat to, no problem there), asked me if I stretched properly - an alarm should have gone off here, but as we have established I am not great with the whole spotting alarm thing - I said yes and PT helps me with that.... he then said something along the lines of "Oh yes, I would be able to help you with that" and then I think he immediately regretted it and tried to back track.... I just glossed over it and said something like it being a bit early for that.
He also asked when I would be back home tonight - this immediately makes me suspicious, why would you ask that? Spent the entire day thinking he might be here when I got home but no, no visits (yet) and lets hope for no more as I am in my pyjamas (8.30 on a Friday night), with a glass of wine, under my slanket...... I am so rock n roll...
So a few peeps at work have become aware of the whole Bert scenario and, it has to be said, NOT helpful. Between laughing and smirking at ridiculousness of the whole situation there are many views that the hand on shoulder incident earlier in the week is a sign of trouble..... great.....
They asked me if I would go out with him if he asked. I said I would not want to but might be worried about upsetting him. This has caused much amusement and now the office has visions of me going out with him because I couldnt say no and then I have to keep going out with him and then we get married.....all because I could not say no...... I may need to work on this....
Still, it is the weekend tomorrow, what can possibly happen?????
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
The Builder - Part 8
well it has been relatively quiet on the Bert front, the anticipated visit from Tuesday never materialised (I was slightly relieved), I was beginning to think that perhaps his attentions were waining...
This morning the builders turned up just before 8am I think, Little D and I carried on getting ready as normal and then I did what I usually do in that I go out and put all the bags, coats, scarves etc in the car, ready to then come back in and get Little D. I guess the other builders will have seen me putting stuff in the car and worked out that I would shortly be on my way out.
Bert's car was blocking my car in on the drive.....
I had trotted back inside, doing my best impression of a fish wife "WILL YOU JUST GET A MOVE ON"
Then I hear this voice at the door...... Bert.
Waved him in as was in usual morning chaos, loading dishwasher, wrestling Little D into cardigan while she is looking around me trying to watch FiFi. Bert stands in hall - probably taking it all in, although he should not be surprised at the state of affairs in this house, it all broadly follows the same theme...
Then Little D was like - come and see the rabbit, so she took Bert by the hand and led him into the kitchen where they were looking at and talking to the rabbit.
Bert apologised saying he realises he had missed my birthday and would have bought me flowers, I shrugged this off and muttered something about 32 not being exciting and then....... oh my lord....... then...... (we have progressed to the next step now)......... he put his hand on the back of my shoulder and let it rest there for a moment... I discreetly as I could manage moved towards Little D under the pretence of sorting her collar out...
Also I should add at this point that for my birthday, one of my hilarious friends (you know who you are) bought me a DIY Vajazzle set - now I must confess, I did not know such things existed, but there you go. I laughed and laughed when I opened it. Unfortunately, this "kit" was still in the kitchen from where I had opened it on Tuesday morning...... Bert was in the kitchen.......... eeeeek. Had to casually scoot it under some cards in the hope that:
a. he would not see it
b. if he did see it he would not know what it was
do not want him thinking it was for him or even better, looking at me and wondering if I had taken the liberty of using it........(I have not and have never used one before, just so we are clear on that)
Now have visions of Little D finding it and getting it mixed up with her arts and crafts and then all of a sudden one day this heart shaped stencil and some sparkles turn up when one of her mates is here....
Vajazzle out of line of sight, mentioned to Bert that my car would not be (inconveniently) up the drive in the morning as am off to Glasgow, Bert very concerned. Bert feels I would not make it in the BMW in the snow (he has a point), however, pleased to advise am getting the train, Bert has asked me to call him if I get stuck and cannot drive back from York station and he will come and collect me (I think he may have mentioned something like "call me and tell me I need to have my cape ready")........ lets hope I don't get to that point....
In my then distracted state I was driving Little D to school and then she suddenly said "er mummy" and pointed out of the window, she then starts laughing and says "you have done it again, why do you keep doing it, you need to turn round" - I had driven past school.....again
This morning the builders turned up just before 8am I think, Little D and I carried on getting ready as normal and then I did what I usually do in that I go out and put all the bags, coats, scarves etc in the car, ready to then come back in and get Little D. I guess the other builders will have seen me putting stuff in the car and worked out that I would shortly be on my way out.
Bert's car was blocking my car in on the drive.....
I had trotted back inside, doing my best impression of a fish wife "WILL YOU JUST GET A MOVE ON"
Then I hear this voice at the door...... Bert.
Waved him in as was in usual morning chaos, loading dishwasher, wrestling Little D into cardigan while she is looking around me trying to watch FiFi. Bert stands in hall - probably taking it all in, although he should not be surprised at the state of affairs in this house, it all broadly follows the same theme...
Then Little D was like - come and see the rabbit, so she took Bert by the hand and led him into the kitchen where they were looking at and talking to the rabbit.
Bert apologised saying he realises he had missed my birthday and would have bought me flowers, I shrugged this off and muttered something about 32 not being exciting and then....... oh my lord....... then...... (we have progressed to the next step now)......... he put his hand on the back of my shoulder and let it rest there for a moment... I discreetly as I could manage moved towards Little D under the pretence of sorting her collar out...
Also I should add at this point that for my birthday, one of my hilarious friends (you know who you are) bought me a DIY Vajazzle set - now I must confess, I did not know such things existed, but there you go. I laughed and laughed when I opened it. Unfortunately, this "kit" was still in the kitchen from where I had opened it on Tuesday morning...... Bert was in the kitchen.......... eeeeek. Had to casually scoot it under some cards in the hope that:
a. he would not see it
b. if he did see it he would not know what it was
do not want him thinking it was for him or even better, looking at me and wondering if I had taken the liberty of using it........(I have not and have never used one before, just so we are clear on that)
Now have visions of Little D finding it and getting it mixed up with her arts and crafts and then all of a sudden one day this heart shaped stencil and some sparkles turn up when one of her mates is here....
Vajazzle out of line of sight, mentioned to Bert that my car would not be (inconveniently) up the drive in the morning as am off to Glasgow, Bert very concerned. Bert feels I would not make it in the BMW in the snow (he has a point), however, pleased to advise am getting the train, Bert has asked me to call him if I get stuck and cannot drive back from York station and he will come and collect me (I think he may have mentioned something like "call me and tell me I need to have my cape ready")........ lets hope I don't get to that point....
In my then distracted state I was driving Little D to school and then she suddenly said "er mummy" and pointed out of the window, she then starts laughing and says "you have done it again, why do you keep doing it, you need to turn round" - I had driven past school.....again
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
I am 32...
Happy Birthday to me...... (for yesterday)
I was asked if I got a "Bertday" present....pleased to report no.
He was here today, spoke to him briefly this morning as Little D and I walked to school and then that was it.... he was here all day and I was waiting for the knock on the door this afternoon but it never came......
I am almost disappointed.....
I also advertised this week, on FB that I had my period.... brilliant. I had thought it was a stroke of genius and cryptic messaging that only Rowan and I would understand...... turns out this was not the case and hot guy at work understood the reference....... so not only will he now see me as 32 year old, slightly fat, single mother, he now knows my monthly cycle....
any reference to wild bears.... it's all about the menstruation.....
I was asked if I got a "Bertday" present....pleased to report no.
He was here today, spoke to him briefly this morning as Little D and I walked to school and then that was it.... he was here all day and I was waiting for the knock on the door this afternoon but it never came......
I am almost disappointed.....
I also advertised this week, on FB that I had my period.... brilliant. I had thought it was a stroke of genius and cryptic messaging that only Rowan and I would understand...... turns out this was not the case and hot guy at work understood the reference....... so not only will he now see me as 32 year old, slightly fat, single mother, he now knows my monthly cycle....
any reference to wild bears.... it's all about the menstruation.....
Wednesday, 1 February 2012
The Buider - Part 7
Now, if you are reading these in order you will know (from Part 6) that I had advised Bert that I would be at work today..... turns out this was not the case (I am writing this from my bed). I took a turn for the worse (not like death or hospital worse) and so work did not happen and was instead replaced by sleep and a trip to the docs.
(not relevant to the story but the verdict from the doc was viral tonsillitis and upper respiratory infection - also viral )
Am spontaneously finding myself falling asleep (not right now) and so slept when I got back from the docs, just as I was waking up, my phone was ringing.....it was Bert, I elected not to answer it, he left a message..... this I thought was interesting as they had been building since about 7.30 am (heard them arrive) and so he was ringing me from outside my house.... (more stalker like tendencies?)
Spent a long time just lying in bed not doing much and then the mobile rang again, school this time. Oh crap is Little D poorly? It was Little D's teacher, Little D was fine (as in not ill and had not fallen over) but she was upset....... she had cut a "chunk" of her hair off with scissors......... you cannot make this stuff up can you? Pondered that for a bit and then decided not much I can do about it now, bet she does not do it again.
Monged about in bed and then got up for a shower etc at around 2pm, flooped downstairs on the sofa, rubbish daytime TV on.
Kept looking at the voice mail icon on my phone and debating.... slightly afraid to pick the message up but also felt I needed to in case it was something relevant about the build (yeah right, why would it?)
In the end I picked it up, Bert asking if I was ok and still alive and to call him if I needed anything - which on its own, is thoughtful and almost lovely, as pointed out by my mother. BUT mum NO. Just NO. because it is not on its own is it? and what on earth would it say if I rang him and requested something??? really??? NO.
Noted that building work was still going on past 4pm - which was unusual - but it meant I knew what was coming, I would have been a fool not to.
5.15 (v late) knock on the door, again I have to go, TV and lights on. I almost feel like a prisoner in my own home...
Seeing how I was, thought I was going to work? Advised did not go to work has to go to Dr instead. Bert said I liked to get ill properly, I agreed. (still stood on doorstep). Said he had phoned and left message, I said yes I was asleep until after 2pm (not strictly true but hey...)
Told me he was off out tonight, would only be two of them there tomorrow, would I be there, I had to be honest(ish) and said probably....meaning yes
Then he left, so good, only 10 minutes today, I also continued to cough A LOT whilst he was talking.
And, I look awful, toss pot has demonstrated some less toss pot like tendencies as he has taken Little D tonight (not his night) so that I can sleep in in the morning and not get up and wrestle to get her to school. He did have to come here to get her and said I looked horrendous, which, although he is toss pot, he would not just say........ I'm so pretty
Can't wait for tomorrow now.....
Must do some more work tomorrow, no time for ill, too busy...
(not relevant to the story but the verdict from the doc was viral tonsillitis and upper respiratory infection - also viral )
Am spontaneously finding myself falling asleep (not right now) and so slept when I got back from the docs, just as I was waking up, my phone was ringing.....it was Bert, I elected not to answer it, he left a message..... this I thought was interesting as they had been building since about 7.30 am (heard them arrive) and so he was ringing me from outside my house.... (more stalker like tendencies?)
Spent a long time just lying in bed not doing much and then the mobile rang again, school this time. Oh crap is Little D poorly? It was Little D's teacher, Little D was fine (as in not ill and had not fallen over) but she was upset....... she had cut a "chunk" of her hair off with scissors......... you cannot make this stuff up can you? Pondered that for a bit and then decided not much I can do about it now, bet she does not do it again.
Monged about in bed and then got up for a shower etc at around 2pm, flooped downstairs on the sofa, rubbish daytime TV on.
Kept looking at the voice mail icon on my phone and debating.... slightly afraid to pick the message up but also felt I needed to in case it was something relevant about the build (yeah right, why would it?)
In the end I picked it up, Bert asking if I was ok and still alive and to call him if I needed anything - which on its own, is thoughtful and almost lovely, as pointed out by my mother. BUT mum NO. Just NO. because it is not on its own is it? and what on earth would it say if I rang him and requested something??? really??? NO.
Noted that building work was still going on past 4pm - which was unusual - but it meant I knew what was coming, I would have been a fool not to.
5.15 (v late) knock on the door, again I have to go, TV and lights on. I almost feel like a prisoner in my own home...
Seeing how I was, thought I was going to work? Advised did not go to work has to go to Dr instead. Bert said I liked to get ill properly, I agreed. (still stood on doorstep). Said he had phoned and left message, I said yes I was asleep until after 2pm (not strictly true but hey...)
Told me he was off out tonight, would only be two of them there tomorrow, would I be there, I had to be honest(ish) and said probably....meaning yes
Then he left, so good, only 10 minutes today, I also continued to cough A LOT whilst he was talking.
And, I look awful, toss pot has demonstrated some less toss pot like tendencies as he has taken Little D tonight (not his night) so that I can sleep in in the morning and not get up and wrestle to get her to school. He did have to come here to get her and said I looked horrendous, which, although he is toss pot, he would not just say........ I'm so pretty
Can't wait for tomorrow now.....
Must do some more work tomorrow, no time for ill, too busy...
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