Dating

At what point is it acceptable to throw your hat into the dating arena after your marriage has ended?  Is there some sort of unwritten rule stating how long you are supposed to wait or can you just dive right in (so to speak)?


I am not sure that I have ever actually "dated" before and if I have, I clearly don't remember, so all in all it is a case of starting again or, maybe just starting...


The whole way in which people date has also changed, very much online now.  Which is quite exciting in some respects as you can "browse" a bit like window shopping, without actually having to talk to anyone.  There has in the past been a stigma around internet dating - the idea of arranging to meet someone you don't know and them turning out to be some sort of psychopath....


The concept has redeemed itself over more recent years and has become a bit of a cult and I can see why.  I maintain that going out and meeting someone in a bar offers just as much chance of them being a psychopath than someone online, only differences being that they are more likely to be a drunk psychopath.... which is clearly much better.  The thing to watch for on internet dating is of course that people lie about how they look or post a deceiving photograph... at least if you meet someone in a bar, beer goggles or not, you generally have some idea what they look like!!


I understand that there are some "dating" websites which you can join that specialise in a quick leg over...... I have not joined one of those (hi mum).


So I have joined a "normal" one - it was sort of done as a drunk joke one night - with a real shell of a profile.  I receive multiple chat requests and views (it tells you when someone has viewed your profile) since setting up my "profile", that is not meant to sound arrogant and, I am pretty certain that on the whole it is not something to be proud of.


I tend not to speak to people online, mainly because they appear to be idiots (the people who want to talk to me, which probably says something) or they are illiterate and I don't mean they have the odd typo I mean they just cannot write or spell or even construct a sentence and, as awful as it sounds, I cannot tolerate this on any level.


I have been window shopping over the last week or so and to be honest, the mentality of some men never ceases to amaze me.


Can someone explain to me what sort of reasonable person you expect to meet online when you post a picture of either:


- just yourself looking like a complete tool - absolutely terrible photograph;


- you taking a photo of yourself in the mirror with your phone, which we can then all see, it worries me that these people a. have no other photos of themselves and b. don't have any friends who are prepared to take a photo for them;


- a photo of you (as a guy) all over another girl......


- a photo of you and (your) very expensive car, which to me says "I have no personality but I have a Ferrari" if, indeed it is even yours


Perhaps I am being a bit disingenuous, they could all be really lovely people........


So I went on a date with a potential psychopath, for some reason I decided to chat to him online and he is nice. 


Personally, I felt this was a massive achievement and was quite proud for putting myself out there.  We met safely in daylight in town on a busy day (better than drunk in a dark nightclub).  I had the (what I can only presume are) usual pre-date nerves, will I recognise him? will he recognise me?  will he actually turn up?  does it matter if he doesn't?


He did turn up (in fact he was waiting for me) and we did recognise each other. 


There was no physical contact - all very honourable - but a hilarious moment as we went to say goodbye to each other, where we clearly had no idea what to do next, there was a sort of awkward pause - no-one tells you how to handle these moments.  In the end we settled on some small talk, thanks, would like to do it again, safe trip home (I said this, who says such stupid things?) and then kind of left.


We had a nice date and a nice walk and he is nice.  Nice is a theme here.