Someone asked me in the pub on Friday how the Bert situation was going. I was immensely smug as I said that I thought he had gone, no contact for over a week and a half. Message has been received and understood. The friend in the pub sniggered and suggested that this was not likely to be the case and that as Bert is a persistent bugger, he will be back..... I practically laughed in his face, my confidence that after five weeks of failing, I had finally managed to resolve the situation.
I would like to extend a massive apology to this friend, after, it would seem, laughing in their face was premature and, they were indeed right after all......
What makes me laugh particularly about this is that earlier on I even predicted my own downfall, I knew this would happen but yet was so ultra confident that he had gone.
So imagine my dismay (I think an "F" word may have featured) when, during Saturday afternoon, I was on the telephone to my mum, half watching out the living room window as Mr Nice was coming to collect me for date number 2. All of a sudden:
Me: "Oh my god, I just cannot believe it"
Mum: "What?"
Me: "Guess who has just turned up?"
Mum: "Oh..... it's not Mr Nice is it?"
Me: "No"
Mum: "Bert? - laughs a lot"
Me: "OK I have to go and deal with this, Mr Nice due here in 10 minutes...."
Bert had pulled up outside of the house and then, brazen as anything had let himself into the back garden to apparently "check the building"... yeah whatever...
And then he knocked on the door. Now, I was acutely aware of two things:
1. Mr Nice was arriving imminently and I did not want their paths to cross. Mr Nice is aware (and very amused) of the Bert situation, but still.....
2. Because of said meet with Mr Nice I had made quite a bit of an effort and did not want Bert to get the wrong idea by this...
Bert started the conversation by asking what I had been up to, I responded with a comment along the lines of 'have been quite busy', to which Bert said : "I know you have because when I have been by you have not been here....." OK........
Bert asked what specifically I had been doing. I said "working, time with Little D oh and I had a date last weekend (go me) and in fact, he will be here in a few minutes"
Bert; looked quite shocked by this (not sure if I should be insulted, does he not think I am capable of getting a date or is this because he thinks we are having a baby [see previous blogs])
Bert kind of glossed over it for a moment, decided to tell me how busy he had been, how his daughter was in trouble as she had been out until 4am (she is 18) and how one of her friends had asked Bert out as he 'looks so young and is so cool'....uh huh..... Bert reassures me he is not interested in 20 year old girl. And I care why?
Bert then asks me about Mr Nice, gave a small outline and not much else.
Bert then asks about Mable and what she was up to the other week [see previous blogs], I said nothing and that Mable was just saying what she thought. Bert said that Mable had asked if he was fishing and if he had other house wives (my recollection of this is slightly different, but hey), he again reassured me that he had told Mable that he had no interest in any other women..... ah.....
Bert then went on to say "tell Mable that you have told me you have a date and that I am insanely jealous" - I think this is his way of telling me he is jealous - well, you missed your boat really didn't you because you never asked me out, not that I would have said yes, but then you know this....
So I just said "OK I will let her know"
He eventually left and literally as he pulled off Mr Nice pulled up.
God knows what the neighbours will think, they are all lovely but like a bit of curtain twitching, they will be aware of Bert rocking up a number of times and today, it almost looked like a revolving door effect, one out one in.... for my life
Oh and Bert wants to come back on Tuesday to fix my light, I might tell him Mr Nice and I are an item (we are not, but he will not know that)
I may just keep the curtains closed....
Must remind myself never to be smug cow again....
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